You have reached the virtual model of Hanlon. Stand by for writing, attempted witticisms, references to his guitar playing, jackets, trainers and geek miscellania. Have a nice day. Please insert cake now.

I don’t know, I find it really surreal that anyone, literally anyone would ever want to read something I wrote. I used to write in little notebooks and keep it all for myself in bedside drawers and cupboards and locked inside my brain and heart and occasionally I might show my dad or something and he’d say oh yeah, that’s good son, in the same way he might say oh yeah, keep doing your homework son. I’d never show a friend because they might see all the things going on inside my brain and body and think whoah, ok let’s keep him away from matches or The Eiffel Tower or whatever. In essence, what I am saying is, you all get to see more of me than almost anyone else does and when I started blogging it was pictures of cats on skateboards as I recall and man getting hit in groin with football, then I found a few other people writing and it was a holy shit moment - these people have words inside them too and they write them down for anyone to see, anyone and I think that’s really…well, brave actually, to share a part of yourself and fuck the haters and the people that never understood or doubted you or even just never thought you had it in you. So kudos to you, the person reading this right now and if you’ve ever commented on something I’ve written, hearted it, or messaged me, don’t think I haven’t gone to see your blog, marvelled at what’s inside you and used that knowledge to try and improve myself as a writer maybe but more importantly, as a human being.

Good morning, good afternoon and good night; I’ve been Hanlon, I’m being Hanlon and thank you for reading my writing. I’d still do it, but I couldn’t do it quite the same way without you

Po-uh-tree? Ware Weir Goin We Woahnt Kneed Po-uh-tree.

Eye want moar
than langwich
kan giv me.

Eye want moar
than grammer
n speling
kan nertur
in me.

Eye want moar
than psyens
n relijen
kan give me.

Eye want yew
n yor blud
n bone n sinew.

Eye want yore
thawt prosess
befor yew put
it into werds -

thatz y eye
wrote thiz lyk
thiz so yew kewd
c how much effert
goez into vocab
n sintax n etimologie
n seperayshun from
breyn 2 payper.

So scroo all that
n give me pyur
unadulteratid
YEW.

The Pleasure is All Yours

Hey Mister
is it wrong that I
like your daughter
in a way that you’d probably
not approve?
And maybe one day
I’ll have one too
so I can see where you’re coming
from.
But we’re all someone’s child
and to put it mildly
I want to get Biblical
with the fruit
of your loins,
so let’s stand around
and talk about sports
and the weather
and you should
try not to think
about what I’ll do
to your daughter
with
pleasure -
hopefully
all hers.
I think you should
in a purely abstract way
approve of that.

Exist/Live

Come with me
if you want to live.
More than exist,
I’m talking about risks,
not calculated,
evaluated,
rated,
carbon dated
to the exact point you met
him/her
and became a bore.
Didn’t go out anymore.
TV dinners
and watching lottery winners
on fantasy islands,
people that aren’t you
popping champagne corks
and hanging out on yachts.
I can be the quicksilver
in your veins
that circumvents your brain
and hits your heart,
gives it a kick start.
Don’t be a part,
be the machine
and think much bigger
than your next mortgage
payment
or 2.4 children.
Don’t just exist
and make endless shopping lists,
thicker wrists
from boring gym routines,
dare to dream
big and give
everything
to live.

Reblogged from generalbeeblebrox  1,369 notes
I’m telling you man, she’s into me, when she said ‘I love you’, I said ‘I know’ like a boss, now I know it’s you blocking the plughole Chewie, at least clean up, that shit’s not cool, not cool at all.

I’m telling you man, she’s into me, when she said ‘I love you’, I said ‘I know’ like a boss, now I know it’s you blocking the plughole Chewie, at least clean up, that shit’s not cool, not cool at all.

A t o m i s e

I would atomise
my very scent
that clings to my skin
(Imperial Leather soap,
Polo Ralph Lauren Green,
Clinique deodorant,
woodsmoke,
Boots Dry Cough
& Congestion Relief)
and send it in
an envelope to you,
so I could envelop you
with more than my arms
when it’s not fair
and the distance
is just
too
much
to bear.

Enough Space

Emergency exit: do not use
while the train is moving,
the penalty fare -
I don’t care
I don’t care
if I can’t have you.
And my sunken teeth
into Haribo gums,
it’s fun
to suck candy
like it’s your lips
and smoke my Marlboro
Reds like I’m licking
your hips.
I sit and stroke
my memories, stoke them
until the disapproving lady
opposite smiles
because she thinks
I’m giving her the eye
not I
not I
it’s just dust I swear,
I don’t mean to stare.
Maybe you need to be with
somebody else,
my wounds are gaping
and bleeding pus,
don’t make a fuss
it’s just tough
to be so young and so empty.
And the seat pattern
abuses my sense of sartorial
elegance, as does
the man
in the cheap
suit.
Off the peg
and off the wall,
I’m too high to fall
and too low to sink.
I’ll just get off at the next stop
and get a drink,
drunk dial your number
and listen to the answer message,
touch myself
the way you once touched
my heart.
We’re all a part
of a bigger picture,
don’t forget it
and I won’t forget your face,
I just need
enough space.